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Dear Reader

Welcome to our Christmas newsletter, we hope it will raise a smile.

If we have done business with you in 2011 we thank you and hope we can continue to do so in 2012.  If we haven't done any business with you yet, we hope we will be able to do so in the future.

We wish you a very happy festive season and a good year ahead for you and your business.

The three stages of life

Santa stuck in chimney

Stage one:  You believe in Father Christmas.

Stage Two:  You don't believe in Father Christmas.

Stage Three:  You are Father Christmas.

Clean living

It was Christmas and everyone seemed to he having a great time, but Father O'Rourke was not. He suddenly said to Father Kelly 'You know what. I'm fed up with all this good behaviour and clean living. Why don't go out and have good old sinful night out. We could  drink, go with loose women and do whatever takes our fancy.' Are you mad?' replied Father Kelly 'This is a small town. Everyone knows who we are.' 'I don't mean we should do it here.' said his colleague. 'We could dress like everyone else and take the train to the city'

After much persuasion Father Kelly agreed to do so and off they went that night and partied until morning. They arrived home very much the worse for wear and it was then that the enormity of what they had done began to dawn on Father Kelly. 'Oh my God. We're going to have to confess our misdemeanor.' 'Don't worry.' replied Father O'Rourke 'I've already thought about this. You get changed and go into the confessional and I'll tell you all about my misdeeds and you can absolve me. Then, I'll do the same for you.'

So, a short while later Father O'Rourke went to the church and entered the confessional. 'Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I went out with a friend to celebrate Christmas ast night and got drunk, had sexual relations with women, danced to wicked music and used foul language.' Father Kelly replied 'God is patient and forgiving and so am I. Do five Our Fathers, five Hail Marys and your sins will be forgiven.'

A short while later their positions were reversed and Father Kelly confessed everything in great detail. 'This is an outrage.' exclaimed Father O'Rourke. 'What kind of priest are you? Do five hundred Our Fathers, Five hundred Hail Marys, donate all you income for the next three months to the church, go right round the church on your knees fifty times, asking God's forgiveness as you do so. Then come back to me and maybe I'll consider absolution.' 'What?' said the astonished Father Kelly 'What about our agreement?' Father O'Rourke replied 'What I do with my time off is one thing, but I take my job very seriously.'

A couple of seasonal videos......

Silent monks and the Hallelujah Chorus

The hallelujah chorus with a difference (make sure you have the sound on).

HMS Ocean's hit video

HMS Ocean's hit video